Recently, I've been thinking of the book quote about us not ever being understood by others. Indeed, how much we want to be understood is an indication of how much we might never be understood. Sometimes, not even by ourselves. Yet, we all place some hope and faith in finally, meeting someone who might hold the key to understanding ourselves.

Actually, I did learn a fair bit, or at least, have come to some realisation that we were never equipped with what it might take to truly and wholly understand another person. Yup, no matter how close, how similar, how in love we can be with another person.

I learnt this from Desmond. Desmond, who I had, at one point, thought would be the man in my life. How could he have made decisions so bad and so selfish if he were who I understood him to be.

I learnt this from Kay. Kay, for whom I took on an entire new perspective of understanding my world and making our world be understood by others. How could she changed into another person right under my nose and how could I have lost her so completely if she were who I understood her to be.

I learnt this, perhaps, the most, from Wenn. Wenn, my best of friends, with whom I could sit in long silence with and feel a sense of being understood. I often question my own understanding of her. There would be periods of time where it just puzzles me how much I do not know about her personal life and yet, seem to be confident enough to assert that I know her well. It can't be that I understand her; she can be so unpredictable sometimes. Yet, what is it that made me feel I do not have to understand her completely and yet, know her and allow her to know me, or perhaps, assume she understands me.

It is very puzzling.

Sometimes, I have the urge to tell Emman that he does not understand me at all and he does not really know who I am at all. This always happens when we argue or quarrel. But, I don't remember actually saying that. At least, not in those words. Well, simply because, sometimes when I look into the mirror, I still don't quite know the person in the mirror well too. Would we ever understand ourselves? According to the book I just finished reading, the answer is a resounding 'no'.

Just sparing some thoughtful rhetoric on a chilly night.

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